The Pathos of Modern Times

Sandler entering the garage found himself to be completely obliterated by a passing thought which called upon for further study.He sat there thinking,trying to perceive the pathos of his life.

After a couple of divorces and a number of unsuccessful ventures, Sandler felt a complete annihilation of what he presumed was the driving force of every human,his will.This fleeting thought brought upon him a feeling of despair and frugality totally alien to him,upon contemplating he found that his God had left him a long time ago in the ghetto,His mother whom he loved remotely had passed away last spring leaving his world enshrouded in darkness.

His early years were filled with joyful timbre and graceful ladies, all of with whom he developed affectionate relationships.He had faint memories of his father,memories he wished could be destroyed.Apart from being the usual drunkard he was loathsome and brutal,sandler recollected images of his dad dragging his mother with pliers on her ears as his mother lay there wreathing in agonising pain.All these images and many more had a lasting impression on his young and tender mind severely handicapping him from a normal upbringing.

After his mother's petition for divorce was granted on grounds of brutality.(The judge could not bear seeing his mother's pitiable condition,her protruding ears after last week's bout seemed as those of elves,her scarred face and unstitched mouth gave her the look of an emaciated leper),she used her savings to relocate to a new place away from the dregs of her former husband.Her only hope lay in her son's future,a future she believed would pave way to a better living,a great deal of cattle,a daughter she couldn't produce herself and grandchildren the crown of old-age.As she lay their dreaming, her dream was cut short by the entry of the object of her dream.He had grown up to become an adolescent and although he had grown to become tall,sturdy and barrel-chested yet the spark of innocence,the radiance of youth had left him.His rather shallow upbringing may have been the cause concluded his mother despite the wave of optimism she still garnered for him.The Town knew him as a ragamuffin,the creator of illegitimate children and a prime suspect of the murder of the mayor of the town.Sandler found these rather neatly crafted words to be aphorisms of his nature and yet he adorned every scorn made toward him with spite and furious vengeance(He secretly found himself baffled of why he could love and hate at the same time) .By the turn of eighteen sandler had heard about the vast untold riches that awaited him 500kms north of his town,with rich anticipation and a faint feeling of independency sandler sneaked out after midnight before daybreak and hauled the goods train that left for the city.

The day had passed by unapproached by any nightmarish hallucinations that sandler was frequently possessed by .He found God closer to him and believed that he was acting on an impulse generated by God himself.All these flattering thoughts kept him untethered from the anguish he felt about his past.A new ray of hope dawned upon him and he suddenly felt at peace with himself.The train finally approached the city by night,with great excitement he withdrew himself from the train jumping gently off it and onto the adjacent track.The rush of adrenaline through his veins felt similar to the time when he had first masturbated to the image of a nude girl.

Leon was a city which housed some of the richest people in the world.Apart from the flamboyant life of the morally decadent,it was also known for it's rich,diverse populace.Leon was the city of modern times.The civil war that broke out against the prohibition of Homosexuals to be given license to wed had forever transformed the moral outlook of the city.It had since then been famously termed as the reincarnation of the city of Pompeii.Statistics had proved that the city became a safe haven for women after the destruction of the amendment to right of censorship.The church was defamed as being a product of the system,thus loosing most of it's members to a new wave of doctrine that had spread,a doctrine of 'Knowing thyself'.The production and usage of hallucinogenic drugs was legalized,Harlots were considered no more to be public outcasts and a host of other unconventional changes proved thus that Leon had quickly developed from being Conservative to being Modern.

Sandler's first glimpse of Leon seemed similar to the millions of others who had left their homes to pursue their dreams,from flashy cars to flashy neon lights to sparky brunettes flashing their breasts at them, they had all experienced the release of being away from conservative home.Sandler's instinct for survival,hope for a better life had completely transformed itself into an instinct he was completely aware of,the sexual instinct.A craving to be sexually gratified molested his purest intentions of making a mark in life.His mind seemed to waver from the path he had dreamed of,his conscience was no more benign to the thought of impregnating someone,his mother's love kept beating upon him like a bull beating upon a matador.The nightmare had begun and sandler trembled in fear before falling into an epileptic fit .

The next day sandler found himself in a hospital surrounded by doctors and nurses,he had been told about his bout of epilepsy the previous night and how he was rescued by an old couple.After being discharged,sandler found it hard to control his hunger pangs and took to begging alms.His entire phantasy came rattling down to the dust like the building he had just seen detonated.He had long since before given up his faith in God,but the prospect of knowing Him again dint seem a distant call.Following the sound of chimes,sandler finally found himself at the sacred altar of the church.The pastor of the church(A political advisor of the government) with great unease at seeing the altar being desecrated by this low esteemed ruffian drew close to sandler who was in deep communion with God.Sandler with great respect lowered his head and cried in anguish saying,"I have sinned before the Lord,Padre".The Pastor with introspective eyes looked deep into sandler's eyes and with great sincerity said,"The times have changed my son,the order of doctrines have affirmed themselves with these times,there is no hope except to 'know thyself'".Sandler left without uttering a word.

Years past by and sandler had finally started earning a respectable income,thanks to a Jew who had compassion on him. Apart from being muscular,sandler had developed a knack for organizing the entry and exit of goods.He was promoted to the level of a godown manager in a steel manufacturing company.His lifestyle had completely altered through the years,he developed relationships with many ladies and was particularly fond of one for her quick wit and filthy imagination.Later that winter they married and settled in a three storey apartment house.A few years into the marriage,sandler noticed a seismic change in his sexual orientation which resulted in the marriage being stormed by heated arguments ,impulsive behavior and brutality.After giving his wife a thorough beating,sandler noticed similar patterns in his behavior to that of his father's through the bits and pieces of technicolor imagery which his mind brought to memory.His mind fumigated with anger at the thought of this disgraceful act which he had committed and condemned obsessively when he was young.His Hysteria left him deluded with self-apathy.

Sandler lay there seated at the garage wreathing in pain as these images flashed through his mind like pictures taken from the holocaust.He was filled with Self-Pity.He sat there trying to gather his thoughts when it suddenly came upon him that in his mind there were two people divulging on different opinions although in reality there existed only one person and one motive,that was himself.He understood all his thoughts of self pity were contrived by injustice done to other people in his life and not to himself.The object of suffering he believed was a misconception of how he represented the 'I' ."The Repugnant 'I' was a subjection of 'I' to someone else. I finally left the garage 'knowing myself' ",said Sandler passing the driveway happily .